Stuck in indecision? Here is a holistic approach…

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with potential options, the way to clarity may be as simple as reconnecting with your head, heart and gut.

Deciding whether or not to relocate to another country is a monumental decision. Deliberating external options can often result in inner overwhelm and confusion. 

There's so much to consider: family, self, environment, and career, to name a few. During these challenging times, our thinking can become overly binary and rigid. To move forward, we need greater mental flexibility. 

Prolonged stress can hijack the amygdala, activating the fight-or-flight response, making clear thinking challenging. Although the fight-or-flight-response has developed to keep us safe from physical danger, like predators , it’s not always useful and relevant in modern times when dealing with emotionally complex situations. The brain wants to keep us safe, so an emotionally charged situation, such as deciding whether or not to relocate, can be perceived as a threat and elicit the fight-or-flight response. 

Shifting to a more relaxed inner state can help uncover creative and less restrictive solutions Activating the vagus nerve through grounding practices can facilitate this shift from fight-or-flight to a restful state, offering fertile ground for alternative solutions to bloom. 

In order to be most effective in dealing with challenging situations, we need to access our full self by connecting with all three centres of intelligence: the head, heart and gut. During transitional times, we tend to default to our centre of preference. Although this may feel familiar, it can block other avenues. To find a way forward, it may be helpful to connect with a centre of intelligence that you tend to avoid or ignore. 

One way of accessing a centre that you do not typically connect with is through a simple daily practice. Notice which centre comes to mind and consider trying one of the daily practices listed below.

Head:

• Shift from ‘monkey mind’ into a calm and expansive mind by doing a mindfulness practice. 

• Get curious. When we are focused on finding the ‘right solution’, we can get stuck between two options. Curiosity leads to a more playful state, shifting away from fear and anxiety. Ask yourself: “What about this situation can I become authentically curious about?” 

Heart:

• Place your hand on your heart to connect with your heart centre. Feel the warmth in this area.

• Shift from a state of fear to love. Say out loud: “I invite love into this situation” or “I ask for help.” Fear and love cannot co-exist in the same space.

Gut:

• Connect with your body by going for a mindful walk in nature.

• Use cold water to help regulate your emotions. If you have time, go for a cold water dip in the sea or a lake (make sure to follow safety guidelines for cold water immersion). Otherwise, place your full face (forehead, eyes and upper cheeks) into cold water and hold your breath. This activates the vagus nerve or ‘dive response’, and will lead to a reduction in your heart rate.

When we feel stuck, it can be easy to resort to tried and tested ways of finding solutions, such as compiling a pros and cons list when faced with a difficult decision. However, these time-worn patterns may no longer suffice. 

Connecting with an underutilised centre of intelligence might unveil the answer you seek. 

If this resonates with you, consider coaching. Having a thinking partner when faced with a difficult decision can pave the way for a middle ground or third way. Together, we can explore practices tailored to your needs during this transformative period.

References:

Mohr, Tara. Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead. Penguin Publishing Group, 2015.

Linehan, Marsha M. DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets. New York: The Guilford Press, 2015.